Coaches don’t just shape footballers, they help shape people
This season marks the end of my 10th year coaching grassroots youth football. Final matches are being played, end-of-season presentations are being planned, and as always, there’s a moment to step back and reflect. What started as a way to give back has grown into something much more meaningful - and urgent.
Every week, across muddy fields and under fading floodlights, something important is happening in grassroots football - something far beyond goals, tactics, and team talks. For many young players, football is one of the few places they feel truly seen. It’s where the masks come off, the pressure eases (even just a little), and who they really are starts to show.
One of the most powerful and often overlooked roles a football coach can play is simply noticing what others don’t. While many children mask their true feelings in school - trying to fit in, keep up, or fly under the radar - something changes on the pitch. The masks often slip. Coaches see the ‘real’ child. We see how they respond to frustration, exclusion, praise, and pressure. These are raw, emotional moments that reveal more about a young person’s state of mind than any test score or school report. That’s what makes football so unique: it becomes a space where young people let their guard down - and that’s when real support can begin.
A recent report by the Centre for Social Justice, The Lost Boys (March 2025), paints a powerful and sobering picture of the emotional, societal, and mental pressure that many young males are facing today. It’s essential reading for anyone trying to understand the deeper challenges behind the behaviour we’re seeing across society. But these issues aren’t limited to boys. Girls face similar pressures - though their distress often presents differently and can be more easily missed. Whether it’s withdrawal, perfectionism, or anxiety the challenges are just as real.
In my work as a mental health resilience coach in schools across West Yorkshire, I see first-hand how quickly things are changing for young people. The pressures they face are mounting, and the cracks are appearing earlier and more often. It’s not always dramatic, but it’s persistent - and it’s affecting more children than many adults realise.
Recent NHS data shows that around 20.3% of children aged 8 to 16 in England were identified in 2023 as having a probable mental disorder. That’s one in five - in every team, every school, every match. The scale of the issue is real, and it’s growing.
Coaches are more than just instructors. In many cases, they become trusted adults - role models who help shape not just footballing ability, but confidence, resilience and connection. But that role is made harder by what’s often happening on the sidelines. Week in, week out, we hear criticism, sarcasm, and shouted instructions that create pressure instead of support. And that doesn’t just affect individual children - it changes the entire tone of a grassroots club.
Let’s not forget: coaches are volunteers. They show up to give every player a chance. Yes, we all like to win - but the real goal is inclusion. When the atmosphere becomes one where only the best feel seen or supported, we lose the very heart of what grassroots football is about.
Team sport delivers more than physical fitness. It teaches empathy, failure, mutual support, and collaboration. It gives young people space to test themselves, to grow, and - crucially - to be themselves. We owe it to them to protect that space. We need to be the grown-ups they need, not just when they’re scoring goals, but especially when they’re struggling.
Coaches can’t do this alone. If you’re a parent, you can make more of a difference than you probably realise. There’s no need to be less passionate - but there’s every reason to think carefully about your own actions and what it really means to be a supporter. Support isn’t just about the team - it’s about every child playing the game. With the right backing - from clubs, parents, supporters and governing bodies - we can build something powerful. Something lasting. Something that helps young people carry far more than just the ball.
